he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
