If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
