Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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