She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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