i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
