i just google imaged poop.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
