Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
