dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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