Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
