Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
