I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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