Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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