Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
