Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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