so that wasnt chicken after all
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
