i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
