I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
