As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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