2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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