Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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