stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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