there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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