Four minutes until I can fart!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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