I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Couch. On fire.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
