I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
