drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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