it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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