I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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