put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
