Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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