Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
