i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
