We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
