This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
