Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
