areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
