When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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