i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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