whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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