Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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