Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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