He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
