Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
