I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
