I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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