she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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