I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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