It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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