I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Randomize
