Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
